Oh vulnerability, we love and hate you at the same time.
We want to feel authentic and real as a leader, we want to use you to propel our ability to make a difference in the world we work in.
We want to model to those around us that it is OK to share our vulnerability.
Yet we battle with expressing the strong emotions that vulnerability can bring up in us. The contradiction between feeling that we need to be seen to be in control and expressing our vulnerability can feel vast.
Sharing our vulnerability in our leadership can be a scary thing particularly when we start out. But when we take vulnerability by the hand and treat it like a friend we get to use it's transformative magic.
And here’s the thing that I want you to remember. There is no perfect way of doing vulnerability, you just have to make a decision one day that you will have a go and see where it takes you!
Clearing Space For Vulnerability To Show Up
We need to be gentle and caring and not push to hard.
We need to be mindful of the speed at which we move.
We need to give vulnerability space to express itself, without being shut down or suppressed.
Safety is key here, making sure that we are prepared for the unexpected and giving ourselves permission to behave in ways that may seem a little strange to us at first.
In a world were time is so precious it is easy to be so economical with our time that we shut down opportunities for vulnerability to express itself, even when it is trying really hard to get it’s voice heard.
When we connect with our sense of vulnerability and what it is trying to tell us, we get to discover ourselves from a new perspective.
We get to hear a language that may initially seem unfamiliar, but will at the same time feel a bit like a homecoming.
Our relationship to our vulnerability takes time to develop; we need to build a sense of inner trust and personal safety for it’s foundational growth.
Vulnerability Transformative Magic
When you are ready to share your vulnerability you get to show others how it is done. You literally lead the way. It transforms the conversations you have, it transforms the way in which people relate to you, it transforms how people understand themselves, it transforms the world in which you live. It means you get to lead from your heart space.
Sharing your vulnerability can be like sharing magic sparkle dust, you can start with tiny fragments whilst developing your relationship with vulnerability in yourself first and then within your team. You get to create the container, you get to set the pace, and you get to model vulnerability transformative magic, if you choose.
Back To The Future
Take yourself back to the future, imagine what your conversation and relationships will be like when you have brought vulnerability into the way you perform as a leader. What will you be feeling, thinking and saying to yourself? What has changed in the culture and environment in which you work? It is always helpful to begin with the end in mind, to be clear about the change that you want to create.
Are you ready to express your vulnerability in your leadership and create the transformative magic in your life and your team?
What new results do you think you will create, when will you start?
Please feel free to share your thoughts and reflections about the topic of vulnerability in leadership in the comments section below.